I personally address the start of my prayers with the sign of the cross and the words, “In the name of the Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit.” In Nicene Christianity, the Holy Spirit or Holy Ghost is the third person of the Trinity.
The definition for the holy spirit in the dictionary is God’s power in action, his active force. (Micah 3:8; Luke 1:35) God sends out his spirit by projecting his energy to any place to accomplish his will. — Psalm 104:30; 139:7. In the Bible, the word “spirit” is translated from the Hebrew word ruʹach and the Greek word pneuʹma.
When I began to write my book, THIRTY, I realized I had forgotten many memories over the past thirty years due to an illness I developed, Multiple Sclerosis leaving scars on my brain. This illness occurred a few years after Paula’s death, and my doctor told me that stress due to grief could be a significant cause. At the beginning of writing, it was a struggle to remember certain occasions when my daughters were little. As the book progressed, I found myself flowing with feelings and thoughts that transferred quickly to words. All the past days, weeks, months, and years became clearer. It was as if the words I typed flowed through the computer onto the paper. I never reread the new material when I finished the day; I always waited until the next day to edit. I found my writing beautiful on many occasions, and the words brought tears to my eyes. I surprised myself and even said, “Who wrote that?”
Before long, I began to remember so many steps I took in the healing process. Everything related to my thoughts of what I needed to do and what I did do. The pattern of my recovery was beginning to evolve. I realized my will to live became important, and I survived many illnesses and surgeries. It came to my attention that I received help from Divine intervention, the Holy Spirit. I wondered why I was chosen to have this experience; The only answer that made sense to me is that my story of grief and survival can help other parents who lost a child.
I carried in my memory a beacon of light that could benefit parents grieving the death of their child, and the Holy Spirit helped put it all together for the book. My thankfulness is to the Holy Spirit for answering my many prayers to help me live and be happy once again. The physical and mental pain was life-threatening; without God’s intervention, I would not have survived. I wrote about this dialog in my book, Chapter 5, Positive Therapy – Joy – Spiritual Intervention, pages 151 - 159. Following are the first paragraphs of Chapter 5. Subsequent paragraphs will continue in the next several blogs.
Pages 151 – 152:
Transfer negativism and direct yourself to only positive thoughts about everything. When Paula died, it was too overwhelming to even think about her absence being forever. This was a new experience, and I had no training to deal with this sorrow. It took years to learn how to control my thoughts so I would not put myself in a position to hurt and feel lonely. I learned to trust my intuition enough to examine why I felt and thought the way I did then. I no longer brushed off feelings and thoughts as though they meant nothing. If I wanted to grow and nourish my soul, I had to be as positive as possible. It was necessary to feel the joy to start the healing process. In a crisis like the death of a child, is there any way to find some joy from it? At Paula’s wake, I did receive a beautiful feeling from Blessed Mother Mary that my baby was in Heaven. I became overwhelmingly happy at the thought of Paula meeting Jesus and His mother, Mary. I truly felt God was real, Heaven was real, and Paula was with God and His mother in Heaven. This was the first time in my life I recognized that the Holy Spirit is the entity that puts spiritual thoughts and feelings in my life. My thoughts became joyous when thinking about Paula being in Heaven.
I wanted and needed my life to be worth something. I prayed for this. As my faith grew, my desire to live and be happy grew. I had to think about what makes me feel joy. For some reason, I knew this so-called joy could be a tremendous asset to my healing process. If I started to fill myself with joy here and there, perhaps my psyche may heal, and I would improve my moods and physical health and increase my desire to live a well-adjusted life. I listened to spiritual music and spiritual programs on the talk radio while driving the car and read books on near-death experiences. I went to church and received communion. I easily bonded with other mothers who had lost a child. I wanted to talk about my belief in Heaven with others, especially mothers and fathers. I found it amazing that almost all moms and dads believe in Heaven when it comes to their child’s death.
~ Carole J. Sluski